hello freaks.

2008-01-08T21:15:00.000+08:00

mariebenaughty.lj

I have not been MIA, I'm still an internet freak.
I'm just a nomad that likes to alternate.

2007-11-18T20:33:00.000+08:00

We're not in this together, we stand divided.
Friends are always there, even when they live far far away and don't see you everyday
I love you to death, pretty.

Thaïs. says:
find someone else, i don't like him.
Thaïs. says:
i hate what he does to you

thereisnothingwecandoaboutit, wewillsimplyjustdiealone.
howzzatsound? good, thoughtsotoo

I'M A MASOCHIST

2007-11-18T19:19:00.000+08:00

Leave me out with the waste, this is not what i do.

It's the wrong kind of place to be thinking of you.

It's the wrong time for somebody new, it's a small crime and i got no excuse.

And is that alright yeah?

I give my gun away when it's loaded, is that alright yeah?

If you don't shoot it how am i supposed to hold it? Is that alright yeah?

I SHALL CALL THIS DISEASE : SUNDAY NIGHT SYNDROME.
PRE-MONDAY BLUES, TWO DAYS OF TOTAL DESPERATION INSTEAD OF ONE

2007-11-17T18:54:00.000+08:00

They're breaking both my hands, they're breaking both my hands,
they're telling me to take it like a man[woman], take it like a man[woman].
Well fuck that.

I don't understand, said I don't understand, said please repeat whatever you just said.
Cause nothing's making sense. Well, how'm I doing ?

2007-11-15T22:11:00.000+08:00

Cold, cold water surrounds me now, and all I've got is your hand
Lord, can you hear me now?
Or am I lost?

And I can't let go of your hand
Lord, can you hear me now?

2007-11-14T19:57:00.000+08:00

i have never been this tired in my entire life
my brain is ... ?
i need some FUCKING SLEEP !
it's not like i stay up the whole night, but i wake up really early, have a hard time falling asleep, and i wake up multiple times
and i am fucking exhausted
but i refuse to sleep

anyway grey's anatomy remains in ultimate awesome-itude
even after the fourth season
WHOO-WHOO hip hip grey's anatomy
please never end

Sesquipedalian pseudointellectuals

2007-11-13T18:35:00.000+08:00

There's an angel by your hospital bed, desperate to hear his name on your breath. As he looks down you're not making a sound.
"Open your eyes look at me. I'll bring to you whatever you need and I'll tell you I'm sorry that I can't take this pain away from you, and I'd put it on my own body if I knew how to, can't you see?

I've gotta bust you out of here somehow, I've never seen your heart this tired, I've never seen your spirit held down.
I know that you say this is what you get for being a bad child, but I know this will be your reward in just a little while. In just a little while.

It's testing the strong ones, scarring the beautiful ones.
It's holding the loved ones one last time.

2007-11-11T17:37:00.000+08:00

when you feel that you're somehow too happy, ecstatic and all that shit,
listen to run.
and it will bring you down, all the way downtown...
damn songs !

PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKING UNRELIABLE !
have some sense of responsibility, instead of blaming everyone else.
freaking hell, what is WRONG WITH YOU ?

twins : "oh look an ang moh !"
me : "so ?"
twins : "your family !"
me : "HAHAHA what the hell ?"
twins : "okay, it's your species !"

OMG, KILL ME KILL ME KILL ME NOW !!!
i think i'm a masochist.
i leave my heart in no man's land, knowing some fucker will just amuse himself by watching it wilt due to torture and bombs.
it's not any different, learn from your fucking mistakes !

LIGHTS WILL GUIDE YOU HOME

2007-11-10T21:51:00.000+08:00

BUT IF YOU NEVER TRY YOU'LL NEVER KNOW JUST WHAT YOU'RE WORTH.
tearsstreamingdownyourface, whenyoulosesomethingyoucannotreplace

OHEMGEE,
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME
i'm just going to die in a corner
that insinuates "alone"

I. want. to. live.
FLYING PANTIES, I am Eleanor Rigby !

All the lonely people, where do they all come from?
All the lonely people, where do they all belong?

Don't abandon him, because he quivers when he hears your song.

2007-11-10T11:24:00.000+08:00

Do the whirlwind and shotgun the seat,
that beats hanging onto the ones you love to keep sleeping, dreaming on.

relapse, relapse

2007-11-08T15:50:00.001+08:00

NO !!!
You can't.
What am I supposed to do now ?
I asked LO to kiss my ass

Don't touch the girls, don't kiss the girls, I have the right to pull the girls.
Get in a fight on every night, the scratches, the bruises and the bites.
But I wanna touch, and i wanna kiss, and if you say no then i will persist.
With you tonight, you'll make it right.
You know that you're wetting my appetite.

HEY ! STRIPPER ! I WANT TO BE YOUR MISTER.

2007-11-06T21:04:00.000+08:00

What the hell am I doing here ? I don't belong here.

Expected too much from myself. Others expected too much from me.

So now we slowly burn to nothingness, because we are nothing worthy of dust.

2007-11-04T19:35:00.001+08:00

as long as you're alive and care, i promise i will take you there.
we'll drink and dance the night away.
iheartyou(:

I ♥ Jesus (:

2007-11-03T21:22:00.001+08:00

The subtle art of how to break a heart.
Hell yeah, crash course.
Severely delusional.

But uh oh, I love her because she moves in her own way.

2007-10-29T16:45:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry that I let you go, I let you down, I let you down my dear.
I always seem to play these games with you my dear, I always, I always…

[Can you make me feel like a star, can you make me shake and scream?
Can you make me beg now, baby? Can I leave you loving me?

Can you make me lose my mind? Can you tease me?
Can you make me wanna dream? Can you please me?

If we did it on a magazine, if we did it on the silver screen, if we did it on the bathroom floor,
Would your girlfriend call me a whore?]

EVERYTHING LOOKS PERFECT FROM FAR

2007-10-27T20:56:00.000+08:00

I'm thinking it's a sign that the freckles in our eyes are mirror images and when we kiss they're perfectly aligned.
And I have to speculate that God himself did make us into corresponding shapes like puzzle pieces from the clay.
And true, it may seem like a stretch, but it's thoughts like these that catch my troubled head when you're away when I am missing you to death;
when you are out there on the road for several weeks of shows,
And when you scan the radio : I hope this song will guide you home.

They will see us waving from such great heights, "Come down now," they'll say.
But everything looks perfect from far away, "Come down now," but we'll stay . . .

I tried my best to leave
This all on your machine
But the persistent beat
It sounded thin upon listening
And that frankly will not fly
You will hear the shrillest highs
And lowest lows with the windows down
When this is guiding you home

Is it so wrong to crave recognition

2007-10-27T14:32:00.000+08:00

Liars and liars and liars and hell.

Fook eet, YEAH
Nightie nights lads
I had a very disturbing sleep last night, not to mention very little
Fucking disturbing
Okay i'm gonna go kill myself now
OKAYBYE

Set sail to the west if you want to.

2007-10-25T21:50:00.000+08:00

I love to let you shine. I love to make you free.
I live to let you shine. I live to make you free.

When I turn jet black and you show off your light

But you can skyrocket away from me, and never come back if you find another galaxy;
far from here with more room to fly, just leave me your stardust to remember you by.

EMO BEEYOTCH IS BACK.
All glammed up and ready to jump into your sack.
Alala alala...
Will somebody please get me some ice cream ?

2007-10-22T20:20:00.000+08:00

just like i swallowed half my stash,
i never ever want to crash.
!!!

come on, peoples of the world, let's have some fun
get inebriated
have some laughs
giggle abit
stop being such ass-tight pricks

postscriptum: FOR SOME REASON, they don't seem to last anymore
HAHA and we all wonder...

OVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR... and done with !

2007-10-22T10:37:00.001+08:00

I need some sleep...
Help me ! I cannot sleep anymore.
I was contemplating getting drunk last night, at about 1am
just to help me go to sleep
Then I was too lazy to get up.
Watched the oc

Closer, close.

2007-10-21T21:19:00.000+08:00

Leave, run til your shoes fly off, and continue somemore
because they chase us out of here like bad morals.
You and me won't be unhappy
Fighting like world class champions
We will conquer and forget it ever existed.
Eternal contentment will be at our feet
Does us even still exist ?

Okay now, stop whatever you're thinking because it's just WRONG
Unethical
Just stop, it's pathetic and getting really old

2007-10-16T19:16:00.000+08:00

please don't let this turn into something it's not, I can only give you everything I've got
I can't be as sorry as you think I should; but I still love you more than anyone else could

all that I keep thinking throughout this whole flight is it could take my whole damn life to make this right
this splintered mast I'm holding on won't save me long because I know fine well that what I did was wrong

The last girl and the last reason to make this last for as long as I could
The First kiss and the first time that I felt connected to anything
The weight of water, the way you taught me to look past everything I had ever learned
The final word in the final sentence you ever uttered to me was love

We have got through so much worse than this before
What's so different this time that you can't ignore
You say it is much more than just my last mistake
And we should spend some time apart for both our sakes

And I don't know where to look
My words just break and melt
Please just save me from this darkness

Eargasms...

2007-10-12T20:29:00.000+08:00

We would like to end it right about now...
I don't know what the fuck I want anymore. So bloody confusing.
In the meantime, I shall be contented with sleep.
Yes, it is 8:30pm on a Friday night.
But that's me : friendless and pathetic.
OH OH ! NOBEL PEACE PRIZE TO AL GORE AND INTERGOVERNMENTAL PANEL ON CLIMATE CHANGE.
congratulations. I am sincerely hoping it will be me one day HAHAAAAAAH dream on.

let's dance to joy division

2007-10-04T19:18:00.000+08:00

i feel creative... just not on the blog
painting ? creative writing... but personal
i pray the day of eighteenth will come soon
PFUIT as if, i'll have died long before

long distance relationships and cybersex

2007-10-04T18:03:00.000+08:00

i fought the war but the war won
i fought the war but the war won't stop

drugs, sex n nurave

I have found goodness in my fridge !

2007-10-03T17:11:00.000+08:00

My long period of mourn is over, I now have the POWAHHH
Chocolate milk, GOOD soya milk, apple juice with aloe vera bits
and let's not forget coke, keeps you through the night when writing a literary commentary on one of the very sexy Charles Baudelaire's poems
oh, i almost forgot, my parents' mountainful of wine and beer (and the bar)

Live vicariously !!! WORXXX

2007-10-01T18:39:00.000+08:00

i miss YOSHI... YOSHI'S STORY ! hahaha it's a girl's game (:

Okay, I'm fantasizing... Too much I suppose.
I'm a dreamer, sue me.
Imaginative people are supposed to be smart aren't they ?
Something along the lines of that.
I say it's healthy to be stoned all the time and live in your own utopic world
rarifies suicidal tendencies.

Sometimes you picture me
I'm walking too far ahead
You're calling to me, I can't hear what you've said
Then you say go slow I fall behind
The second hand unwinds

If you're lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting
Time after time

After my picture fades and darkness has turned to gray
Watching through windows you're wondering if I'm ok
Secrets stolen from deep inside
The drum beats out of time

I sort of miss it... Not surprising
AHHHHHHH MISS EMO KILL ME NOW !
"a good emo kid is a dead kid."
i'm not emo so NAH
emo is so passe, get with the program

"I'll never get my Bacalaureat, I'm too stupid. I'll probably end up picking up trash or something.
-Don't say that, it's not true. You're too LAZY to get your Bac.
-You're right, I shouldn't underestimate my intelligence. I'm quite brilliant actually."

2007-09-30T16:49:00.001+08:00

i realised something, you have to be quite goodlooking and self confident
to pull off something like "whipcrack".
or a musical genius, with a HELL whole lot of style.
guys who can pull off *clap*WHIPCRACK*clap* and look like a greek god,
can also pull off the tight tshirt, bright yellow skinnies with knee-high equestrian boots.
fucking sexy, i'm in love.
it's official, i want to jump finn vine too.

2007-09-30T12:40:00.000+08:00

WHA Finn Vine... WHIPCRACK !
loooove him in the yellow skinnies.
effing to die for. so is owen...

girls in the back get higher higher

2007-09-29T22:01:00.001+08:00

fuckoff fuckoff fuckoff !!!
stop being so hypocritical,
it makes me sick
don't say you care
that would make you
the biggest hypocrite

What do you wake up in the morning for ?

2007-09-29T18:56:00.000+08:00

sound of silver talk to me, makes you want to feel like a teenager
until you remember the feelings of a real life emotional teenager
then you think again.

2007-09-27T20:41:00.000+08:00

Okay, so it's either Xavier De Rosnay or James Righton.
I'm leaning more towards Xavier De Rosnay though.
I've seen vids of him DJing... and FUCKING HELL i want to jump him.

I can give you what you want...

2007-09-22T07:48:00.000+08:00

Okay, time to update.
Well, I've basically been sick this whole week, but still went to school.
Except for friday, when I realised it was only getting worse and stayed home, then went to the doctor's to be told that I had a bad throat infection. Ahh ! The reason I was croaking. So basically my tonsils are swollen yadda yadda...
Result : about 3 different sorts of pills, one syrup, and some antibiotics.
Lovely, isn't it. I'm like this baby high on medication. (:
I swear last night I was soooo whoozy it was awesome.
I slept the whole day yesterday, hence the waking up at 7.30am. And also coz I wanted to see my dad off, he's making a 25hour trip to San Diego ? Something like that. So yeah, I wanted to wish him good luck for the US :P
OH ! I was too tired to watch it, but FRANCE WON ! Against frigging Ireland. KISS MY FRENCH ASS, WHOO.
Okay, I feel like going shopping and doing my nails... I'm on medication pills antibiotics, and retail therapy.
Baaaad girl.

2007-09-21T20:26:00.000+08:00

Highly medicated... Drowsy !
But fuuuuuuuun !!! (:

2007-09-19T13:42:00.000+08:00

Grant my last request and just let me hold you...

Can I marry you ? Haaaaaha... please ?
I am exhausted. And bloody sick. I don't speak anymore, I croak. And everytime I sneeze, it feels like my throat has exploded. Oh, and I can't sleep because I spend my night coughing.
Whoopee ! ...

2007-09-18T19:31:00.001+08:00

I swear that you don't have to go...

You know the words so sing along for me baby.

alcohol is dangerous...

2007-09-16T14:06:00.000+08:00

HELLO SO VERY WASTED LAST NIGHT ! :P
HAHA i'm grounded.
And i can NOT remember a single thing that happened.
I constantly thank God for my beautiful friends who looked after me.
Put me in a cab, gave him my adress and everything.
Made sure i didn't fall down the stairs.
Although i think i did because i'm aching everywhere...
Oh well, i sense impending doom. because the room is spinning and i see a double computer.

INDIE ROCK N' ROLL

2007-09-14T17:09:00.000+08:00

Notice, my blogging has become quite irregular.
Take it as a good sign ! (:
Managing to stay off the net for a bit.
I am proud.
Three cheers for Marie... HIP HIP : HURRAY. HIP HIP : HURRAY. HIP HIP...?!?! HURRAY !!!

BIG GIRLS DON'T CRY.

2007-09-12T18:31:00.000+08:00

You feel the world crumbling down ?
Shine on, for everyone.
Become a red bull/caffeine-inebriated Duracell bunny.
Motivation sometimes oversees means.
Major communication breakdown, worse than before...
We shot the world.
Temporary happiness.

2007-09-09T11:20:00.000+08:00

Good morning lads, and chippies (?)
School is going to be very much hell this year, thankyou Ministry of French Education.
One sixth of active french population is unemployed, i'm trying not to be included in that, so yeah.
Standards for qualifications to obtain a job are getting higher and higher.
It's scary that despite all the work you put in, you're worth nothing.
There will always be a million people better than you. Far more than a million in fact.
Nobody gives credit to those chinese workers in factories who work far more for far less.
What if you're not appreciated ? Worse, not even aknowledged ? No matter the amount of work you put in.
If you don't go public, you're shit.
Ok, i'm talking shit.
Gonna go see Jesus (:

2007-09-08T08:23:00.000+08:00

I think I have a rock instead of a brain now...
Last night was... too much for me.
So stoned right now, I shall go meet Jesus.
See what he says :P

Make it up, break it up, what do you care ?

2007-09-06T21:00:00.000+08:00

Yes, couldn't keep away from cyberworld, where you choose who you want to be and who you want to talk to.
School is... exhausting, frustrating.
This year is getting so philosophical, sucks.
I even have a philosophy class, how insane is that.
If intelligence, capabilities came from genes, I should immediately get it in my head that philosophy is going to be extremely tough on me.
My dad got 2/20 in it...
Thanks dad, very reassuring.
Fucking hell, I hate all this.
I am a "TCK" MWAHAH Third Culture Kid...
Expected to do well later on in life; let us hope I am one of them.

"you got a real short skirt, i wanna look up, look up, look up..."

2007-09-05T20:54:00.000+08:00

Oh wow mark ronson !
God DOES give with both hands...
Oh well, it's not like I didn't already know that, I'm a hot genius too !
Mwahahah. I joke, I joke; I keeeed, I keeeed !!

DRINK AND MOAN AND DISS

2007-09-03T03:03:00.000+08:00

Let us conquer time difference !
Cannot cannot !
Cannot sleeeeeep.
Ok, television !

Mother Nature is WOOOW !

2007-08-25T04:13:00.000+08:00

I'VE FOUND IT !
The song that brings me close to euphoria... Nice, full memories.

I hold sunlight, and swallow fireflies.

2007-08-16T05:01:00.001+08:00

Marie dit :
hey ben
Marie dit :
want to see a picture of me when i was a baby ?
waiting for you. dit :
yeah i want i want!
Marie, let's make love and listen to death from above envoie :

Annuler(Alt.+Q)
Marie, let's make love and listen to death from above dit :
i was 2
waiting for you. dit :
haha
waiting for you. dit :
alright
Marie, let's make love and listen to death from above dit :
saw ?
waiting for you. dit :
yeah
Marie, let's make love and listen to death from above dit :
hahha
Marie, let's make love and listen to death from above dit :
wasn't i so adorable ?
waiting for you. dit :
yeah
waiting for you. dit :
you still are
Marie, let's make love and listen to death from above dit :
aww !!!

Let's make love and listen to death from above.

I felt so peaceful. I like the Eisley sound.
And the likes of Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong in those vinyls.
The sound is simply gorgeous.

AND I SAY... thank you for the music !

P.S : ANGIE, i miss you... :( :( :(

Monaco, land of the bloody fucking filthy rich.

2007-08-14T17:35:00.001+08:00

My cousin's neighbourhood.

2007-08-10T21:28:00.000+08:00

Hello good morning.
I've been up since 9am France-time.
I stayed in bed til 10, because I'm a lazy arse.
Anyway, been on the computer, surfing, chatting, doing my usual addict stuff.
My cousin's got nudist neighbours, who apparently got the cops called on them because they were swimming in their pool naked at 11pm...
He's also got crazy, in-need-of-anger-management neighbours.
And another who's a junkie, got kicked out of every school in the town and is staying back another year.
Yummy, I asked him to introduce him to me.

I would like a hottie-on-ice por favor.
Oh, and there's also my cousin's italian cousin...
Damn all these boys.

JOAN OF ARC, KISS IN THE DARK.

2007-08-10T17:46:00.000+08:00

<3 hystérie collective.

Superbus/Wondercar.

2007-08-09T20:58:00.000+08:00

Sex, baby, sex.

AAAHH ! I'll stop taking it out on you.
You're not the one to blame, are you ?
So, I guess this is goodbye.

EL SUN-O IS OUT-O !

2007-08-08T19:33:00.000+08:00

I knew France was too perfect to have bad weather.
Now it's cool and sunny with a gentle breeze. A la perfection !
OOOH and I finally got THE WORLD IS MINE !
I worship that song, thank you Simon !

ELECTRO-A-GOGO.

2007-08-08T16:46:00.000+08:00

Say no-no to techno, but house all the way !
Ah crap it's raining ! And not to mention that it's freaking cold out !
Superbus tonight ? Hopefully.

<3 house, electronica, david guetta, bob sinclar, justice, daft punk, superbus...
miss oh-so patriotic.
<3 france (:
<3 m6 for free concerts (: (: (:

I'm all up for Saving the Planet !

2007-08-08T02:27:00.001+08:00

OH DEAR GOD, I've jut realised... I won't be able to go to school stoned and with my brain like mush anymore !
If I want to be serious...
But those days were such fun, sitting in class, looking out the glass door at the corridor and staring at the ground.
But I HAVE DECIDED, I am going to be SO VERY SERIOUS starting september !
EVERYDAY ! Sleep early, TRY to stay off the comp before I've done my homework...
Actually DO my homework, not at the library 5 minutes before the class starts, or at 3am in bed.
Ok, UNBREAKABLE VOW, everyone !

BOM ! CHICKA WAH-WAAHH !!

2007-08-06T00:19:00.000+08:00

Mothers, lock up your sons.
There's only so much of hot, muscly, shirtless men my eyes can take...
Oh dear, I've become a man.

ATLAST ! I'm in FRANCE.

2007-08-03T14:44:00.000+08:00

Got here yesterday, had a blast.
I barely slept on the plane, was so stoned at Schiphol airport (Amsterdam).
Oh, and when I passed through that security metal detector thingie, i beeped.
Fat old scary woman : "May I search you ?"
Me, nervous : "Uh... yeah ?"
The thing is, when she says "search", it may as well have been "touch", or even grope.
She was all over my boobs, and just when she was doing that, the other male security officer (hot, by the way) was staring, as well as two other men who were looking back at us and smirking. She checked my bra, and my pants, until they started dropping. She just laughed ! I think I had a look of pure disbelief and confusion during the whole "search"...
I bet she enjoyed it, lesbian ! I felt so violated. BAHH.
I have nothing against lesbians, just when they use their jobs to feel up people in public... Well, I'm sure she was just doing her job well, REALLY well. Part of the formalities right ? I get it.
It's just I felt so icky after that hahah. Anyway, I'm sure I was overreacting.

ANYWAY ! forget about old fat homosexual women who grope me, there's plenty more beautiful things in France.
I slept like a baby last night ! Ate GOOOOD food. Oooh, and my grandfather gave me some Sangria. Damn, my dad was right, you drink it, thinking it's fine, next thing you know you're smiling from ear to ear and pink in the face. Dangerous Sangria. I wouldn't be surprised, my grandpa made it HAH.

It's exhilarating to be in a country (/continent) where even cleaners can be OH-SO-HOT !! RAWR. They're so hot over here.
I'd better go change, going to the beach soon ! YAYY !!

My love is electric.

2007-08-01T14:28:00.000+08:00

Ladies and gentlemen, presenting Marie's new phone :

I can put plenty of songs, and yes, it twists !
Apparently the twisting thing has a very short life span, but who cares, it's fun, and it'll give me an excuse to get a new one later on.
It's so pretty ! Mine's black by the way. I like to call it "Mo".
I get so sexcited when I get a new phone, because that's just the way I am.
I love technology, informatics, science... Yes, I'm a freak.

This morning I slept at 5am, to wake up at 10 because I was supposed to go out with Jojo.
But she canceled because she was sick.
I hope you feel better darling ! (: And I hope to see you soon, before I leave.
So, FRANCE TONIGHT !!! WHOOO. I love airports, planes, the little televisions, packing... They're so fun ! It's like preparing for an adventure.
Except I do this every year, but my excitement never fails.
I <3 France, and I've bloody missed it !
Stopping over at Amsterdam, then taking a plane to Marseille.
I presume upon reaching there, we will drive to my aunt's place, have a gooood (<3 FRENCH FOOD !) lunch, rest, have a swim, have coffee, relax til about 6pm.
Then drive to my grandparents' place to have dinner there and sleep.
I'm always dead after my first day in France. And I sleep so well there !
Like a fucking baby, with the night breeze (their house is on top of a hill), a light cover, and my special french bolster. The love of my life. I've had it forever, and I love it. (:
Anyway, I'M GOING TO GO PACK !!! Builds up the excitement.

OH I ALMOST FORGOT, my grandfather struck 4D, won a bit less than a hundred grand, WTF !
Hah why's it already rich people that are lucky ? There is no justice in the world hahah.
Oh well, I can't complain, he gave me a 250 Euro hong bao, which is the equivalent of 500$ Singapore.
Kudos to you, step-grandpa, you did the right thing, bless thy soul.

Garfield plasters.

2007-08-01T02:51:00.000+08:00

Ben came over today ! Yayy finally I get to see that boy.
I've missed you, you know that ?
We watched Skins, good show. "Bollocks !"
Anything from bands, to television shows, are better off being from the UK.
Klaxons, Keane, U2, Hot Chip, Coldplay, Muse, SKINS ! <3
I think Ben enjoyed the topless/naked hot chicks, didn't you Ben... Hahah.

Anyway, I barely slept last night, my brain very much like mush today.
It feels good in a way, but when you WANT to sleep but your eyes absolutely HAVE to open every five minutes, it makes it considerably harder.
I guess I'm used to having someone in my bed.
Well, rather being in someone's bed.
Not being lonely, you know...
Ah well... Tomorrow night I'll be sleeping on the plane.
Then, FRANCE ! Yayyy ! Just the thought of going to EUROPE cheers me up.
Asia is sickening, no offence.
Well, got to wake up tomorrow morning, and wake JO up too !
I shall try to sleep ? Otherwise I'll be talking absolute nonsense tomorrow.

2007-07-31T09:39:00.000+08:00

Bleagh.
My stepmother is annoying...
And here she starts again.

Yowza !

2007-07-30T14:07:00.000+08:00

OHH NOOO !!!
Today I'm going back to stepmonster-land, so very depressing.
I just hope I won't bawl my eyes out like a fucking baby at the airport. I HATE doing that. HAHA.
It's embarrassing !

ANYWAY, Saturday night was a hoot.
I finally went out clubbing/drinking with Willie. We were an odd bunch, sister, her boyf/fuckbuddy, my brother and Will and me.
We went to Bros Lounge and drank a bunch of stuff...
Kir Royal (<3), Long Island (<3 <3), struck down a beer, Illusion, Kamikaze, and this shot thingie with Baileys in it (<3 <3 <3).
I wasn't that drunk or anything, but I just FELT LIKE DANCIIIIN' !!!
Will and I danced on the platform thingie, so fun !
My sister called me to come down and to "Behave !"
I think I was dancing all slutty... And we were practically the only ones on the platform.
My brother "You're quite wild eh !"
So yeah... And Willie suddenly decided to be all shy and asked me to ask this girl to dance with him.
So I did, I think she was a bit wasted... Oh well so was he.
Her friend was nice...
Well, Will and the girl started making out on the platform, it was quite fun to watch.
Both quite wasted, and the girl was quite... not that visually pleasing let's say ?
HAHAHA hilarious.
Me "She's quite fugly..."
Will "Really ? I didn't see her face."
He got this weird wound on his waist, sort of looks like a hickey but I don't think it was 'cause he was bleeding and apparently it hurt...
Oooh, S&M girl ! HAHAH.
Will "I'm probably going to regret making out with her in the morning but right now I'm too drunk."
Well anyway we went home at about three coz my mother decided to care for her children and called us home.
But we didn't go the house where she was, went to the other, empty, bigger one.
And well somehow everyone ended up swimming ?
Hahaaa so drunk...
So fun !
We were making quite a bit of noise I think, coz the neighbour complained.
"There's something underwater !!
-Eee setan !!
-No it's a leaf..."

ANYWAY, Iraq winners of the AFC Asian Cup... Guess what I did last night, I went a-knockin' on the (some EXTREMELY HOT) Iraqi football players at the Mariott's hotel room doors to take pictures with them.
YUMMY. Some of them were like in towels or little underwear...
And I've got to say, that new player, WOOOW !!!
Just plain breathtakingly gorgeous. SO CUTE !!! And yummy.
Okay, I shall go fantasize about the Iraqi hotties.

2007-07-28T15:49:00.000+08:00

Good news, I don't get really bad hangovers anymore.
Now they're just mild.
Maybe because I'm so used to alcohol this month.
Wahh ! On my way to becoming an alcoholic.
They see life prettier I suppose.

Anyway, I feel so fucking down. I miss my sweetie, I'm going back to stepmonster land monday, and I just woke up, all alone.
What's wrong with me ? I slept at about 11 am...
My brother came to pick us up around 8-9, and came home while still UI (Under Influence). But only mildly.
If I came home as drunk as last night... I'd be dead.
I remember hugging everyone, dancing on benches, urging these girls i didn't know to come and dance on top with me, making out with one or two guys ?
AND MY SISTER WAS SO HIGH. She could not stop laughing it was hilarious.
We were walking to the car, and she was like "Wow this is a very very long walk !!"
And she found this boy she started to pull around, like a new accessory.
Oh dear. This morning : "OMG ! I just remembered KC !! Shit what did I do"

2007-07-27T22:02:00.000+08:00

Thank you, pink pills.
Just can't abuse of you.
Them isolated boys should get social education.
Okaybye.

My market value.

2007-07-27T05:27:00.000+08:00

A lightbulb in my head went "DING !" and started emanating bright light.
It MAY be called inspiration, so I decided to checkitout.
No it's not. Just the bright and wonderful idea of GOING TO SLEEP.
Yes, Marie. Off the net.
But I don't want tooooo...
I AM an addict. I need to start going to NA meetings. Netoholics Anonymous.
"Hi, I'm Marie, and I'm a Netoholic... Oh hi Ally !"
I'm listening to The Used... Their new album. Not their best I must say. Although some songs are listenable.
I'm not into screamo/emo anymore i guess. INDIETRONICA ALLTHEFUCKINGWAY.
Emo is so... instyle/presently passe. And being the non-conformist/teenager that I am, I'm not into it anymore.
Instead, decided to listen to music with the same lyrics, because those were interesting and meaningful, but less depressing melodies, and easier to listen to as well !
Ah, yes I DO have my reasons.
My brother is still awake, playing. And he says he won't stop til he wins. Good luck with that-
See you next week. (my brother, not my blog. My blog is... unavoidable, for ME atleast.)

Company.

2007-07-27T04:33:00.000+08:00

Hello had the wonderfulest evening. Night. Whatever.
Went for wine at about 10, waited for Freddy. Then went for sushi. I am SO crazy about that right now.
We ate, decided to order Grape shisha. Then we saw some old friends from last year, and went to their table.
Had a blast, the only time I saw them this year was brief and I was drunk. Well, almost drunk.
Anyway, going clubbing with them tomorrow night so yay !
It's good to see familiar faces. Tomorrow night's gonna be good I hope.
So sexciting ! Oh no, I jinxed it most probably.
Now it's gonna suck (yayy un-jinxed !)
Anyway, my mother asked us to get Satay for her, guess she had a craving.
Then we got home, my mother asleep, so she DIDN'T eat the satay.
My big sister, big brother and I are all in his room, cuddled up and he's playing Winning Eleven, I'm online watching Friends/chatting and my sister is fast asleep.
Ooh, my brother's eating the satay. Good.
Nothing else to blog about ?
Oooh, MAYBE FINALLY going shopping tomorrow. Congratulations mother.
Hahaha busy businesswoman. I will NEVER be a housewife. EVER.
Unless... my husband is like the Sultan of Brunei or an Onassis. Or with equivalent wealth.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS, MARIE ?!?!

2007-07-26T21:19:00.000+08:00

A fog is looming over Cityville. A storm is threatening the citizens.
Sensing the approaching danger, people start gathering food and water into their little homes and shutting their doors and windows.
Old farmer Ted has ushered his sheep into his house, predicting a lengthy period of imprisonment.
Mr and Mrs Eck have barricaded all entries to their little shack, afraid that they would be creating the storm and therefore coming to claim their revenge through massacre.
Of course, Mr and Mrs Eck knew that barricading would be of no use.

2007-07-26T16:32:00.000+08:00

Helloooo...
My brother came back yesterday.
Okbye.

World, hold on.

2007-07-24T03:12:00.000+08:00

Birthday party : big flop.
Afterparty : blast.
Went to a bar/club with my sister, her boyf and my mother's gay friends.
They are so insanely awesome !!! They're usually hilarious, but with a few bottles of wine and mugs of beer they're fucking fantastic !
I had the greatest laugh, they tell the best jokes. They dance like... homosexuals. Which is adorable ! Shaking their sexy booties and all !
Awesome, awesome time dancing to old school dance music, and drinking Moscato.
Then, after leaving the place, someone joked "Let's go for supper."
And so we went to have sushi !!! My new love of the moment. Tuna mayo sushi, salmon sashimi with lots of wasabi, and California rolls. Best shit ever !!!
Supper was excellent, we couldn't stop laughing. I love them lot.
MWAH !
Sounds like my horoscope is giving me sound advice... !

"An ex is back on the scene, and you might feel your heart singing a familiar tune. Be careful -- even if you feel more romantic about them than you ever did before, it could be hope or idealism that is guiding your feelings. Give yourself time to get used to them being back on the scene, and do not make any attempt to spend more time with them in a planned way. If you see them again, you see them again. Don't try to steer this thing -- it won't go where you want it to."

ANYWAY, I'm gonna talk to my friends for a little while, then go read Harry Potter til I fall asleep. Hopefully soon enough.
Have to wake up for lunch tomorrow, made plans with my mother. Lunch and SHOPPIIIIIING. Topshop babyyyy !
Wouldn't want to miss that.
Goodnight my lovers.

2007-07-23T13:51:00.000+08:00

Last night when I got home, mom in bed, all sedated from sleep.
Me "Hey mama bear I'm home and it's only 12:30 !!"
Her "You drank !!!"
Me "No I didn't !"
Her "Don't lie, your mouth smells of alcohol."
Me "Really ? No way that's not possible."
Run out of her room.
Ordered Macs, ate like a pig, my sister got me a surprise birthday cake !! Her and her boyf planned it.
So so sweet.
Now I'm getting birthday wishes from people on msn, friendster, facebook, at home.
Which, by the way, has been taken over by arab men, including one that's cooking for my birthday.
I suppose I'm having a party ? I dunno, my mother's being weird.
I slept at about 7am, and have been sleeping about the whole day...
Went to a rich people's wedding last night at the Shangri-La, very very cool.
Nice deco and food, and DRINKS ! There was the after-party, which was this awesome room covered in carpets with shisha thingies all over the place. And a DJ and yadda yadda. Very cool.
Best thing was that it was free. Heehee. People were walking around with bottles of Jack D and Chivas and force-feeding it down their throats. Very entertaining.

I would like, for my birthday, birthday brownies (special ones) and a birthday bonk.
WHEEE-OOOO. HAHAHA.

Happy fucking birthday to me.

2007-07-23T01:21:00.000+08:00

I WILL die, someday.
When the world is warm, and I've had enough of this stupid life.
In the meantime, I'll just drink myself silly and cry on each of my birthdays.

EEEE-EEEEHHHEEEEE.

2007-07-22T18:06:00.001+08:00

I FEEL-A SOH HAPPEEE !
Like a fucking happy meal forcing my mouth into a smile.
And warm hot chocolate squeezing my heart.
And my head floating all the way up in a happy daze (:
Tomorrow is my birthday. IT'S SEXCITING !!!
I so sexcite.
Today is such fun !
I went clubbing this morning, in the wee hours (aha aha) to Embassy and Balcony.
I DRANK SO MUCH.
Illusion, Jack D and coke, Chivas, and thebestdrinkintheworld : Chocolate Viagra.
Kudos to your inventor.
Anyway I was very-so much drunk.
As in, walking crooked, memory skipping, hurting myself against everything, puking-out-of-my-sister's-boyfriend's-BMW drunk.
I remember burning myself accidentally, and hearing my sister's boyfriend "That's gonna hurt in the morning."
Apparently I showered when I came home, and washed my hair.
Wow my subconscious is so strong ! Drunk Marie could write a book !
HANYWAY !
I went for lunch with my whole family, with a hangover, and I had a fucking blast.
They're so funny, and fun.
We went to Poke Sushi, and had THE FUCKING AWESOMEST FOOD !
We just kept on eating and eating, my brother is such a glutton, but then again we all are.
My mother, my big sister, my little brother, my little sister, her nanny, and my mother's arab friend.
What was missing was Freddy. I fucking miss him. The family's not complete without him.
I always thought he was an odd one out, because he's quiet and a total stoner, but that's him.
And I like him like that. Love him. Adore him.
Anyway I'm ranting on, will see him soon though.
I basically had the awesomest lunch.
Oooh and I spent time with my mother yesterday. Quality time. It was lovely (:
We made up after our fight.
I <3 my family (:

Daddy, what's relativity ?

2007-07-21T16:01:00.000+08:00

Previous post is so freaking self-pitying.
My sincerest apologies.
But it was a bit truthful though, things are absolutely shite.
My mother just asked me how to spell "hell", as in "go to hell".
Little did I know it was to include it in her charming message to my stepfather.
Peace out, A town.

Maybe you should get some sleep.

2007-07-21T09:35:00.000+08:00

Saturday morning. I don't feel the beauty of this day...
My head is pounding and the little sleep I've had was on the floor and on an uncomfortable sofa.
I see the pretty glow and lovey feeling of the atmosphere, but I am immune to it.
My eyes sting, and I forget to blink.
There are parts of my body I don't remember hurting.
I practically scratched my arm out last night, and hit myself against things... The floor maybe.
My thigh is sore, my feet ache, and I'm very hot.
It's easier to write when I'm like this, it feels good.
I think I want to eat, lie in aircon and stare at the ceiling.
I don't want to sleep. Nightmares have had a new meaning ever since they've been applicable to life.

2007-07-20T20:14:00.000+08:00

I am broken into a million little pieces...

Early bird.

2007-07-20T06:52:00.000+08:00

It is currently 5:52 AM Jakarta time and I have yet to sleep.

Baby come home.

2007-07-20T02:46:00.000+08:00

I feel more at home here than I ever did there.
I hate parents, divorces, stepmonsters, custody... Well, on the bright side, two more years to survive there.
Hopefully I will be able to survive. I don't know.
I think I would be way happier over here though. FUCKIT !
I fucking hate this. Alotalot. ARGH.
My parents screwed me up, and I mean it. Truly. I'm going to need therapy soon.
And as if therapy would work ! The drugs will be the only things working, and I'll become a junkie, and need rehab.
Thank you mama, papa. From the bottom of my heart.
THANKS FOR SCREWING ME UP YOU TOSSERS.
It's so much easier to live life like this.

My muse is an ODB.

2007-07-18T19:42:00.000+08:00

Alright I've decided to force myself to blog, even though my thoughts are muddled/non-existent. Not quite sure about that yet, see how my brain is slowly dying ?
So blogging lets me have a say in the cyberworld of blogging bloggers. The latest craze. "You don't have a blog ??!!"
I appreciate people with style, because they're meant to be appreciated.
But those lame ones... I don't know what to do with. Maybe just ignore their dead character.
A lot of Muse today, I love Muse.
And Destination Calabria. And HARRY POTTER. I don't care if it's childish/lame/pathetic, I love the books and movies, I'm a fan. I'm reading book 6.
*GASP* "You haven't read Harry Potter 6 ??"
No I haven't kids, I've been waiting for the seventh to come out so I can directly transfer from six to seven, without having to live a depressing day in between.
Yes, I'm a fan. A bad fan. But I saw the latest movie though. Which I very much liked (:
See, I can rant on and on about life and my opinions and thoughts, but they turn out to be quite nonsensical if I don't feel anything specific, much like recently.
Am I intelligent ? I don't think I am. I'm just pathetically opinionated.

We'll still have each other, you can stand under my umbrella, ella ella eh eh eh eh...

Distance;

2007-07-18T16:11:00.000+08:00

07/07/07

"You shouldn't have to sacrifice who you are just because somebody else has a problem with it."

'Cause you're afraid to be alone.

2007-07-13T23:21:00.000+08:00

See you soon buddy-cream.

2007-07-12T18:10:00.001+08:00

You know those men, who marry Asian women, and THINK they're getting a good deal...
Because they think those women are cheap, and look up to caucasian men, therefore will give them the respect they really deserve. And that they will be able to get all the sex they want, without the whining those white women make, what with fighting for women's rights and all... Their drive to become successful, sometimes surpassing their husband, that freaks them out. So they would rather those younger, asian women, who are "under-qualified", so there's no risk of them becoming their boss, or dishonouring them.
Well guess again, you dickheads. They fell into the trap, but little do they know that asian women are as controlling as any other bitch. Once they taste a bit of the power their "superior raced" husbands can get with their money, they become moguls. And they manipulate, and extract every last cent out of those aged businessmen, and have affairs with younger men, who are into the "exotic beauties"...

Ahhh I hate them. My mother is one of them, but I love her, because she's my mother. But all her friends... Whoa. And my stepmother as well. Let's just say they're not exactly saints, in my opinion, and it's all about money, and sex, and that is disrespectful towards the promoting of inter-racial marriages.

The lonely hearts club.

2007-07-12T16:06:00.000+08:00

You never know when he's kidding.
The self-destruct button is no where to be found.
And I'm looking for it, begging.
Lalala.

I want it to be Christmas.
Dunno why.
Last night I dreamt I was driving again. I keep having that deam.
I'm driving, on the highway, and I CAN drive, but with a little difficulty, and the authorities are chasing me because I haven't got a license.
I'm so law abiding and responsible. Moral responsibilities...
It's sickening to be me.

Follow through, make your dreams come true, don't give up the fight;
you will be alright 'cos there's no one like you in the universe.

Don't be afraid what your mind conceals, you should make a stand, stand up for what you believe.

And tonight, we can truly say, together we're invincible.

Sharing the struggle, they will pull us down, but please, please let's use this chance to turn things around.

Do it on your own, it makes no difference to me.
What you leave behind, what you choose to be, and whatever they say, your soul's unbreakable.

2007-07-11T12:33:00.000+08:00

Mmmmyumm...

"I've got you, boy."
Just came back from seeing Transformers...
The names just made it childish, MEGATRON ! Hahahah.
It was a cool show, good show, I guess I just don't care much for those.
Ahhh whatever.
Tell me why I feel so alone ?
My mother just bought two boxes of donuts... So fucking good by the way.
Why, WHY would she do that, but to tempt me. I had 2 donuts, that were delicious.
This is how boring my life is. Seriously.
I'm blogging about DONUTS for fuck's sake.
I fucking hate this. I hate myself. I hate my life. Mundane. Lonely. Unhappy.
Even my holidays suck. Suckiness can't escape me. I will live you up !!

Andy, you're a fucking star.

2007-07-10T01:42:00.000+08:00

Kaizer says :
then thou shall be punished by god himself

Kaizer says :
btw i'm God

2007-07-09T17:58:00.001+08:00

Hello good morning !
I just woke up about an hour ago. Well yesterday I saw/found out something, that I am trying to forget about, because it is fucking sick, and it's just... EW !
It makes me want to twist my insides and puke out what I ate, without exaggeration.
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU !!!! I think he wants to disgust me.
Hopefully I won't see him ever EVER again ! This reminds me of that Georgia Nicolson book...
IT IS FUCKING SICK. SICK SICK SICK.
I didn't tell anyone about it, because it is something that I don't want to talk about, ever. And most definitely not with HIM.
But honestly, I want to forget about it, and I want him to forget about it.
Just needed to talk about it, now it's gone.
Hopefully.
I am just plain DISTURBED ! Traumatised.
Well, he must be fucking not right in the head to be thinking things like these.
All I can say is, boys are fucking twisted. Indonesian boys.
Well all boys. But especially Indo ones. Sick. Sick sick sick sick sick.
Okay I might vomit now, to relieve the ickyness.
Again, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU !!!!!!!!!

2007-07-09T00:02:00.000+08:00

Okay I guess I was wrong to think that I might be able to sleep.
I supposed exhaustion would be enough to get my eyes to automatically close and my system to shut.
But noooo.
Friday night was beautiful. At first we were in a room in the club, so it got a little wild there.
Hahah ! We DJed our own tunes, danced around, sang some karaoke. Is that how you spell it ? It's become such a weird word. Is it a verb or a noun ? HAHAHA WTF MARIE SCHOOL IS OUT !
Sorry, my intellectual side comes through sometimes... It surprises people.
Anyway, at about 1thirty we got out to socialise. But ended up pulling the drapes for our table because we were so high. HAHAH.
I wanted to wear those shades with the white frame, the kind those insanely awesome brit rave kids wear.
OH WOW, more of that please. Even the lights were pretty (:
Looking at myself in the mirror was so cool, it was like I wasn't alone, I was someone else... Dunno how to explain it, but believe me when I say it's awesome.
ANYWAY Saturday night was... AWESOME too.
Hahaha I love my sister for showing me a good time.
It was isolated from everything, and in a field in the mountains. It was cooling, I was wearing a sweater the whole time.
Well, so was everyone else, but for a different reason heh heh.
They looked so funny !! Sweating like pigs and shivering and dancing like madpeople and with their eyes about to roll out of their sockets, some of them were wearing hot glasses in the middle of the night, even though it was hard to see.
The music was really good, all that trance shit, rave stuff, my sister's friends DJed... Good stuff.
And the MCs were good, fucking hot.
I get so turned on by those rave kids, boys who have got style. Very very important for me, the dressing.
Ooooh and they gave out free Gudang Garams (:
AND light sticks ! HOW AWESOME IS THAT !!? I fell in love with one, it's red. And it's around my wrist at this very moment.
Keepsake.
STANDING IN THE WAY OF CONTROL,
there's no one home to call (:

"We came a long way to party so let's do it proper."

2007-07-08T23:03:00.000+08:00

HELLO MY FELLOW CHILDRENS.
I AM IN LOVE !
Haven't been home in a while, my mother got mad. Hahah. "If you don't want to be my kid anymore, fine !"
Well now we're okay, so it's all goooood.
Friday night was so fucking awesome. I was so... WOW. HAHAHAH.
Euphoric. Euphoria, fucking good.
Left the club at about four, then went to my sister's friend's house.
We were all girls, all wild, and simply not sleeping.
I couldn't stop laughing and saying the dumbest things...
Then, after three intense hours of giggling we left to go to the mountains.
Spent all day in the car and in the hotel room sleeping.
Then we went to 777, an outdoor rave party. Which was... fucking awesome.
Hahah. I now know I can get high on music, and a bit of beer.
Afterwards I was high thanks to my friend Jack D but that's a different story.
Anyway, FUCKING AWESOME !
I think I need some sleep... Hahah !
Nighties babies.

2007-07-05T20:38:00.000+08:00

I am one confused bitch !
i don't know what I want, with ANYONE !
Fuck... What to do now ?

I'm caught in suspension.

2007-07-05T03:45:00.000+08:00

This is not fair for me, so shut up !
I mean it.
Lalala.
Not sleeping... BAH.

Home sweet home.

2007-07-01T19:00:00.000+08:00

Good evening peers.
I am home. Lying down on my sister's bed, listening to Au Revoir Simone, and typing almost orgasmically on this beautiful MacBook.
It feels good to be back. I love this.
My unhealthy holiday diet has officially started. Whahooh, feels good.
I'm starting to have this thing for espressos nowadays... Watchout Marie, could be dangerous.
Anyway, I hope this month will be awesome... You all know what I mean.
Oh well, nothing to say.
I thought the beautiful laptop would give me wonderful inspiration. But to no avail.
This is Benaughty, out !

2007-06-30T19:39:00.000+08:00

I'm here just like I said, though it's breaking every rule I've ever made.
My racing heart is just the same, why make it strong to break it once again ?
And I'd love to say "I do give everything to you", but I can never now be true.

I think I better leave right now, before I fall any deeper.
I think I better leave right now, feeling weaker and weaker.
Somebody better show me out, before I fall any deeper.
Think I better leave right now.

I'm here so please explain why you're opening up a healing wound again ?
I'm a little more careful, perhaps it shows, but if I lose the highs at least I'm spared the lows.
Now I tremble in your arms, but what could beat the harms to feel my spirit calm ?

I wouldn't know how to say how good it feels seeing you today.
I see you've got your smile back, like you say you're right on track.
But you may never know why, once bitten twice as shy.
If I'm proud perhaps I should explain I couldn't bare to lose you again.

OKAY I JUST GOT A DIAMOND BRACELET AND 250$ for my birthday WHAHOO.
Just from my stepmother's parents. Hahahah I love them rich chinese seniors sometimes.

2007-06-30T18:52:00.000+08:00

Okay, the sickening guests have arrived.
Children playing/screaming, adults laughing their heads off for the most idiotic things, the maids in the kitchen preparing the meal, father at the barbecue pit to escape from meaningless conversations with intellectually challenged seniors.
I feel like escaping, and locking myself up in my room with a book.
I love reading. Several books at a time actually, which makes it hard to finish them...
Solitude is comforting in my Singapore house. I'd rather it to being with my "family".
Home is truly in Jakarta, with my family. I miss them.
Okay, I'm going to lie on my bed and stone for a while, then possibly read.
Go down for some food, but not too much I'm not very hungry.
Then back up to read some more and slowly pack in between pauses.
Sounds like a wonderful plan for a Saturday night.
I'm pathetic aren't I ?

2007-06-30T11:36:00.001+08:00

tonight i'll be gone. says:
so what
tonight i'll be gone. says:
are you going to do overseas
MARIE; Hope can only take us so far. says:
dunno
MARIE; Hope can only take us so far. says:
overdose on drugs and alcohol and die there
tonight i'll be gone. says:
alright that's quite intelligent
MARIE; Hope can only take us so far. says:
i know !
tonight i'll be gone. says:
then take care of me after that ok\
MARIE; Hope can only take us so far. says:
of course
MARIE; Hope can only take us so far. says:
i'll watch over you
tonight i'll be gone. says:
okay thats great
MARIE; Hope can only take us so far. says:
(:

TOMORROW IS THE FIRST OF JULY.
TOMORROW IS THE DAY THAT I GET OUT OF THIS COUNTRY FOR A MONTH.
TOMORROW IS THE DAY THAT I WILL FEEL IN MY PROPER PLACE IN A FAMILY AGAIN.

Anyway I'm feeling FREE (:
I can just slack all day. Probably going to see Ben today yayy finally !
Haha I miss him ! Emo boy.
And I need to pack a bit. I'll probably do it tonight, while the guests are here.

GROWING ANTICIPATION.

2007-06-29T18:31:00.001+08:00

I am love-filled all over again !
I miss my sister so fucking much !
Somebody is waiting for me on the other side.
Me : "I miss you babe. See you Sunday !!"
Ila : "huhuhuh.. can hardly wait.. missss u.. i'll pick u up"

Someone that wants to see me, coming to pick me up.
Damn even that makes me happy. Having somebody wanting to pick me up, and not just out of "legal guardian obligations" like my dad does.

WHOO I've done everything that was nagging at the back of my head !
Well, the physical, concrete things.
Now I'm free and really on fucking holidays.
SMACK MY ASS BEEEETCH !

P.S my brother is such a pothead I think.

2007-06-29T14:13:00.000+08:00

I felt for sure last night that once we said goodbye,
no one else will know these lonely dreams, no one else will know that part of me.
I'm still running away and I'm sorry every day.
I won't always love these selfish things.

Bad parenting possibly screwed me up.

2007-06-28T18:43:00.001+08:00

Even more in love with me you'd fall, we'd have it all.
I want it all.

I get this perversed satisfaction with picking fights.

Can you say "I will never let you go" ?

2007-06-28T17:22:00.001+08:00

I went out with my daddy today, to drop off my report.
Afterwards he wanted to buy those Seamonkey thingies for the aquarium.
So I decided to follow him out of the car.
Only to realise that... HE WAS WEARING HIS OH-SO-AWFUL CROCS !
They're grey and fugly. And the worst part ? They make noise !
Every step he takes, *poot*
He was smiling all the way and acting like a goofball.
I was embarrassed but I thought it was hilarious, and who the heck cares anyway.
The fish lady ain't as cool as my Croc-wearing daddy.
I think I take after him for the goofy-ness. HAHAH. (by the way he's embarrassed about the Crocs too)
I <3 my daddy very much.

She was just trying to find an excuse to run away.

2007-06-28T10:32:00.000+08:00

Paris Hilton is out of jail, and looking prettier and more natural might I add.
Although, we all know this isn't natural beauty. HAHAH.
*cough* PLASTIC SURGERY *cough*
I have the sudden urge to go watch E! Entertainment to check her out properly, and to hear the latest gossip.
Unfortunately my littlest sister is watching Playhouse Disney.
It's okay, she's sick and I love her.

ANYWAY, I'm off to finish my report !
Then tidy up my room. Fuck it's been a while !

It's such a sweet song, makes the name "Delilah" almost bearable...

2007-06-27T21:03:00.000+08:00

When you think you've accomplished something, and are proud of it,
it comes back to bite you in the ass.

Life is shit. Seriously.

Can you tell me why he acts this way, please ?
It's breaking my heart.
WHY ? Why do you have to be in my life, when you don't even care about me ?
We don't talk anymore.
Yet he still manages to hurt me with criticism.

2007-06-27T15:43:00.001+08:00

FIVEFOURTHREETWOONE... WATCH ME HAVE MY CAFFEINE OVERDOSE.
FUCKING HELL IT FEELS SO GOOOOOOOOOOOD !!!
I HAD A FEW OF MY DAD'S SUPER-STRONG-ITALIAN-STYLE ESPRESSOS, WITH LOOOOTS OF SUGAR,
AND LOTSA LOTSA COKE.
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
i shall die of bliss now.
Nothing like a good espresso to kick-start the heart.

2007-06-27T13:41:00.000+08:00

My parents are so... absent-minded.
HAHAH. Their daughter is like a little cloud that they notice from time to time.
I'm saying this in a very affectionate way by the way.
They're so sweetly stoned.

ME SMS :
Hello mama bear, i'm reaching jakarta at 10:35 am in flight [...] THIS SUNDAY. See you soon, and don't forget me!

MOTHER REPLIES :
Oksweety.

THAT'S ALL I GET FROM MY MOTHER THAT I HAVEN'T SEEN IN A YEAR.
Not even "I miss you, see you soon, looking forward to having you home..."
Nope. Hahah.
My dad too, all he replies is "Ok."
Is it the whole adults and technology issue ? Or is it just them.

Tell me, we both matter, don't we ?

2007-06-27T09:03:00.000+08:00

Last night started out fucking badly.
Dinner, and before that, was awful. So was after-dinner.
SHE NEVER FUCKING STOPS !!!
One day, I swear, promise, I will either kill myself, or kill her.
She is everything that is wrong with this FUCKING HOME.
You can't begin to understand to what extent my hate for her goes.
She's so... I'd better stop talking about her, it's ruining my mood.
But SERIOUSLY, I want to fucking tie her up and leave her to rot in a closet.
ANYWAY, after that I went to school to see a show.
It was good, SOME French kids can sing at least.
And there was the tap show "Tres bon spectacle Thais !"
"Merci !" *Wide plastic grin plastered*.
I love you dear (:
After the show we walked to Serangoon Gardens to get a drink.
Nice walking with you sunshine. We were fucking high.
She was high on adrenaline, I was high on myself.
Dancing around, waving to people, strange people, watching cab drivers sleep.
We took so long to get there hahah. Thanks to me and my twirling.
Then we got a bit lost in the dark. BUUUT with our wonderful sense of direction we managed to find Liquid Kitchen.
I drank some Wallaby Shit and she drank some Sexy Style WHAHOO.
Oh, and a black Russian. Angie ! Tsk tsk.
Anyway by the time I got back the stepmonster was sleeping.
That was a joy.

Carve your name into my arm. Instead of stressed I lie here charmed.

2007-06-26T12:16:00.001+08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA !!!
"His penis is just so beautiful I want to... knit it a hat !"